It’s impossible to look around these days and not see AI. While we’ve known some versions of AI to have been around for years, the number of new companies, products, and tools using AI has never been seen like this. And while there’s a natural tendency to push back on things we don’t know, there is just as much promise with AI as there is peril.
But like any new tool, especially one that has the ability to shape our culture, including our health, it’s important to pay attention to how people are using it, what they are using it for, and ensure that both of those areas keep people as protected as possible.
It’s cliche at this point, but my first exposure to “AI,” at least conceptually, was through Skynet, which according to Wikipedia is “a fictional artificial neural network-based conscious group mind and artificial general superintelligence system that serves as the main antagonist of the Terminator franchise.” Right. You got that? While I was a bit too young for the first Terminator to see it in the theatres, Terminator 2 was my jam. I still remember that chase scene in the LA water canal, oh, and how could you not remember Guns N’ Roses starting off the film with “You could be mine?!”
But even back then, the thought of AI being a functional tool was not ever on my radar, so most of what I knew was some combination of Arnold, Axl, and anarchy.
Fast forward to today where AI is a major part of my life, in ways I can and can’t control. Being that I am a mental health guy, who cares deeply about the impact of such tools on mental health, it was with great interest that I saw a new report from Hopelab and Harvard's Center for Digital Thriving. This well designed and super accessible report asked a very simple question (pro tip: the best research always does): why are so many teens and young adults choosing to talk to a chatbot instead of a person when they're struggling?
What would you guess?
I mean there’s a lot of reasons to run away from technology, but why do we run to it, especially around something as intimate as our mental health?
Before even looking at the report I had my guesses.
It takes too long to find someone.
I have to open up to a stranger and all that comes with that.
It’s expensive, and I don’t have insurance or want to pay for care.
You can probably come up with your much longer list based on your own experience. But rather than guessing Hopelab and Harvard went and asked kids directly. They talked to thirty teens and young adults aged 14-22 in interviews and focus groups, plus nineteen more high schoolers in additional sessions, with extra outreach to LGBTQ+ youth and youth of color.
Before I share a high level of what they found, I’d encourage you to read the whole report. It’s got some great wisdom nuggets in there that are super valuable as we continue to think about AI and our society. Drumroll please…. here are the six:
Young people don’t want to be a burden. A lot of kids said they’d rather vent to AI than pile more stress onto friends and family who already have enough going on. It’s stressful out there folks, and I know that I’ve felt this way myself before.
AI won’t judge them, and it won’t tell anyone. With AI, there’s no risk of gossip, no fear it’ll be used against them later or posted about online, and unlike a hard conversation with a person, you can just delete the log and it goes away. There’s something to really like about the ease and anonymity of this approach.
AI “gets it” in ways some people can’t. Several kids of color described AI understanding experiences, including things like microaggressions, better than friends who hadn’t lived anything similar. Another reason why we need more people who look like us, understand us, and live in our communities to be the frontline mental health workforce.
AI is always there, and it’s instant. This one surprised me the least. With AI there’s no waiting days for a callback text, which is huge at 2 am when nobody else is awake and you need someone.
AI plays neutral, but sometimes just a bit too neutral. Kids like that AI doesn’t take sides in a conflict, but some also caught it just telling them what they wanted to hear, which worried them. And honestly, since some of AI is just really good at telling what you want to hear, I am glad they picked up on this.
AI gives real, specific advice. Compared to a parent saying “just go outside,” AI often offered concrete steps kids could actually use. Now, whether that advice was helpful, is an entirely different question.
For me, and the authors of the report, the bigger picture is this: kids are getting something real out of AI. That’s not nothing, and I don’t want to pretend otherwise. While it’s hard to accept, it is a reality that’s here with us today and we need to have a plan on what to do with it.
But there are still a few things that stood out I can’t shake. First, I want our youth to know how to work through hard things with other people. If AI is the crutch, when do they ever learn that skill? Conflict isn’t fun, I sure hate it, but it’s necessary. If we never have it, when we do, we will likely run away from it or not manage it well, all of which doesn’t feel helpful.
Second, AI can become an echo chamber of passive positive support. I don’t love the idea that it never really pushes back. Some decisions need someone in your corner willing to say “that’s a bad idea.” If AI won’t say it, and nobody else in your life even knows you’re considering it, that’s not a solution, and in fact, could become a problem stacked on a problem.
Is there a role for AI in all of this? Absolutely. But every problem AI is solving for here is a problem the mental health field should have solved first. Kids didn’t go looking for a chatbot because it was better than a person, no, they went looking because the system built around them, the parents, schools, and care options, weren’t built or equipped for the moment they needed it in. To me, that’s the real failure in this report, and it’s on us, not the AI.
As a person who has focused deeply on how we better bring mental health care to where people are, this report hurts me to read, but it’s filled with truth. The truth of our failings, and the truth of how radically technology is reshaping our culture. That’s not entirely a bad thing, but if we’re not ready to wrestle with it, we’ll end up like a character in the Terminator, always playing catch-up, always fighting to hold on to something that was once ours.
With much interest and fascination I dove into this. I spend a lot of time as a volunteer crisis counselor speaking to teens. A lot.
Your "we need to have a plan..." is 100. Even the cautions you present. AI gives value to teens struggling. They need to not feel alone. To be heard. It's giant step for them to learn to share.
When I do a shift I generally validate/prompt them with this "Sometimes we need to get our words out. If we don’t they can be stuck inside us. And all our doubts fears pain will grab those words & not let go. Sharing words is how we can see ourselves better and others see us."
So learning to share even with AI is a way to see that a teens' insight is valid. With caution cuz like AI will validate with reckless abandon thus creating an addiction of sorts to come back and not human connect.
On a bit of Pollyanna, rainbows, and Unicorns note approximately four out of ten teens who log in will ask me. "Are you AI or bot?"
My response is Na 100 hoooman. Just read my poor grammar, no comma's and sweful spelling.
They to a person LOL. Say thank you and share. Share hard. At the end I get the occasional "Thank you. So much better than AI. You listened. Made me laugh."
Yup small sample yet promising that they see humans as cool. No data on if they came from AI or just heard from friends how AI sucks. Point is they do like living breathing beings.
Ben your points about why they go to AI I've head and those are real. The biggest one is "I don't want to burden my friends." To which I ask "If they came to you facing what you are would you listen?" OFC I would. A light goes off and they see they are not a burden.
Good post like 100 hoooman written and felt.
You Matter and important too
Agreed on where you land. I walked out of my own coffee shop mid-shift, into the nearest emergency department, and said help me, I can't take it anymore. That was an adult with money and the nerve to make a scene, and it still took a full collapse to get me through a door. At 2am a 14-year-old has an app and nothing else open.