There is so much goodness, insight, smartness, and just plain word up here. Not sure where to begin.
I guess I will go to the way back machine. 1976 (Son of Sam time) when I first moved to NYC. Living in Washington Heights which was so far away from midtown I was nicknamed GU (geographically undesirable). To get to work I would take the A Train from 181st Street to Rockefeller Ctr. Having my tonsils rattled the whole ride like the bells peeling at Notre Dame. The trains were unheated sans AC. Noisy graffiti riddled and wild. I was told that being a New Yorker you ignore everything on the subway. It was a safety measure of sorts. Noticing meant engagement. Meant oh hell now what? To make it clear the following was described. "You don't even look up if there is man in a Nazi Uniform, with a corn muffin stuck in his ear and one leg on fire." Don't look.
Back then it was all reading. Books. The paper. True NYC subway riders had what was called the NYTimes subway fold down to a science. It was folded so you could hold the paper with one hand and read. The other hand held your bag. So to your point Ben no phones yet no engagement. Oh I forgot Sony Walkmen were BIG too. All of this eschews "Connection is at the heart of our humanity."
It was not all that grim. I would see the same folks leaving my building heading for the A Train. We'd chat. On the platform the same commuters would huddle together. So a node. A hi. A "This train sucks" share. We did connect but once on the train. It was I need to finish a chapter or two.
Spot on about the illusion of progress. I agree with the fridge door analogy. It was an epic fail. Reading that story I was struck by the overwhelming sense that no one did any behavioral research. At all. Did not want to understand the user. It goes back to that old tech chestnut, "Go fast break things". Or just make some tech thing up. Sell it. Get a huge valuation. Sell it. And buy a Lambo. Not a thought about the human. A friend at a VC fund told me a tech head came in with an idea to pitch. The key quote they made was. "We eliminate humans." Go figure.
I guess in the end for me it's what I do when I do my crisis intervention work. I connect deeply. I listen. I read between the lines. I do that IRL with friends and strangers. It does much for them. So much more for me. When we speak the words our words with others. The words we share makes us seen by others we can see us better & others do as well.
Those apps need to try to do that to connect not remind. Not to shame that we didn't hit xyz. Trusted connections or new connections we build are the building blocks of our lives. Not just connection but the act of building them deliberately with purpose. Lego's for the soul.
You would have found me looking out the windows and at some of the other passengers. Travel is much more interesting than the Internet. I don't have a smartphone and my life is mostly better for that. I think some people are only starting to realize that now...
There is so much goodness, insight, smartness, and just plain word up here. Not sure where to begin.
I guess I will go to the way back machine. 1976 (Son of Sam time) when I first moved to NYC. Living in Washington Heights which was so far away from midtown I was nicknamed GU (geographically undesirable). To get to work I would take the A Train from 181st Street to Rockefeller Ctr. Having my tonsils rattled the whole ride like the bells peeling at Notre Dame. The trains were unheated sans AC. Noisy graffiti riddled and wild. I was told that being a New Yorker you ignore everything on the subway. It was a safety measure of sorts. Noticing meant engagement. Meant oh hell now what? To make it clear the following was described. "You don't even look up if there is man in a Nazi Uniform, with a corn muffin stuck in his ear and one leg on fire." Don't look.
Back then it was all reading. Books. The paper. True NYC subway riders had what was called the NYTimes subway fold down to a science. It was folded so you could hold the paper with one hand and read. The other hand held your bag. So to your point Ben no phones yet no engagement. Oh I forgot Sony Walkmen were BIG too. All of this eschews "Connection is at the heart of our humanity."
It was not all that grim. I would see the same folks leaving my building heading for the A Train. We'd chat. On the platform the same commuters would huddle together. So a node. A hi. A "This train sucks" share. We did connect but once on the train. It was I need to finish a chapter or two.
Spot on about the illusion of progress. I agree with the fridge door analogy. It was an epic fail. Reading that story I was struck by the overwhelming sense that no one did any behavioral research. At all. Did not want to understand the user. It goes back to that old tech chestnut, "Go fast break things". Or just make some tech thing up. Sell it. Get a huge valuation. Sell it. And buy a Lambo. Not a thought about the human. A friend at a VC fund told me a tech head came in with an idea to pitch. The key quote they made was. "We eliminate humans." Go figure.
I guess in the end for me it's what I do when I do my crisis intervention work. I connect deeply. I listen. I read between the lines. I do that IRL with friends and strangers. It does much for them. So much more for me. When we speak the words our words with others. The words we share makes us seen by others we can see us better & others do as well.
Those apps need to try to do that to connect not remind. Not to shame that we didn't hit xyz. Trusted connections or new connections we build are the building blocks of our lives. Not just connection but the act of building them deliberately with purpose. Lego's for the soul.
As always, so beautifully said and so many important points to consider. Thank you, Mark.
I could not agree with this more, and everything I've learned about the human body supports your conclusions here too!
You would have found me looking out the windows and at some of the other passengers. Travel is much more interesting than the Internet. I don't have a smartphone and my life is mostly better for that. I think some people are only starting to realize that now...